a few things that hit the spot today

A strange kind of day.  I am off now to have sushi and wine with friends and need to get moving....fast.

So quickly - not a "few" - only 2 things that made me think today.

From Timothy Leary:-

“Admit it. You aren’t like them. 

You’re not even close as they go about their automatic existences. 

For every time you say club passwords like ‘Have a nice day’ 

and ‘Weather’s awful today, eh?’ 

you yearn inside to say forbidden things like 

‘Tell me something that makes you cry’ or 

‘What do you think deja vu is for?’ 

Face it, you even want to talk to that girl in the elevator. 

But what if that girl in the elevator 

(and the balding man who walks past your cubicle at work) 

are thinking the same thing? 

Who knows what you might learn from taking a chance on conversation with a stranger? 

Everybody carries a piece of the puzzle. 

Nobody comes into your life by mere coincidence. 

Trust your instincts. 

Do the unexpected. 

Find the others.”

I have told you this before, but I do repeat myself and this is one of the things that I think about so often.  My  Gran, on one of my last visits to her in the hospice, looked at me deeply and said (something along these lines) "Jenny, I know I am old and now dying but it is the strangest thing, I still feel the same as I did when I was young. It is like nothing has changed, I am still the same but I am not..."

I was in my twenties and did not really understand exactly what she meant.  Now however, not that I am about to die or anything like that, but I can sometimes look at a picture and know that I now am gradually starting to understand what my Grandmother meant.

It is all about still being the same person but your age sometimes does not permit you to behave, dress or say the things the way that you used to be able to.  I found this picture today and it gave me a bit of a yearning feeling - not that I was ever this beautiful or trendy but she reminded me of me. She reminded me of me this Saturday watching Nic play rugby at a freezing cold stadium in Stellenbosch - except it was exactly the opposite - it was raining and cold, the dress was woolly and waterproof and the drink was Old Brown.  The subject was 53 and frumpish and she wished that she did not feel that she was doing something wrong when she took out her plastic Coke bottle filled with Old Brown.  She sat with the students and pretended she was one too and it did not feel like that long ago that she was 20 and could do exactly what she felt like doing.