"let your boat of life be light, packed with only
what you need - a homely home and simple pleasures, someone to love and someone to love you,
enough to eat and enough to wear
and a little more than enough to drink:
for thirst is a dangerous thing"

Thursday, 3 May 2012

let's lighten this dark and grey thursday up a bit

A few laughs to share from the last couple of days:-

Please take a look at this 2 year old dance - too precious for words.  Thanks Helen

Kathy has been on a roll (drinking wine out of Miss Kitty paper cups in a van does something to her) and yesterday morning she was sharing some bizarre stuff with me. She assures me comes from IOL news.  This is pretty crazy:-

Published: 30th April 2012

A GERMAN nymphomaniac arrested after forcing a man to have sex with her eight times has struck again - this time keeping her victim on the go for a staggering 36 HOURS. The woman met her latest victim, a 31-year-old African man, on her way home from a sex addiction clinic in Munich.
She invited him back to her flat where she kept him hostage and forced him to satisfy her sexual demands.
The victim eventually managed to break out of the apartment after his attacker fell asleep. He was later found weeping on the street by police.
He fought back tears to tell them: “I met her on a bus. She invited me back here. It was hell. I can’t walk. Please help me.”
Munich police confirmed his ordeal in a press statement. The woman has now been taken into a hospital for psychiatric observation.
The man escaped from her apartment like the first victim last month - when she fell asleep.
Dieter Schulz, 43, had to guide police to her flat using his mobile telephone on her balcony between sex sessions.
A naked and frightened Schulz told cops: “You have got to help me. She is trying to kill me with sex. I cannot get out - and I cannot go on!”
When police arrived to question the woman she invited two officers to join her in bed for a “quickie”.

I decided to check the facts this morning before publishing this post.  She did not make it up and the report above was from The Sun but was also in the Daily Mail and (funnily enough) on yourhealth.com.    I would love to write for The Sun.  Don't you love "he was later found weeping on the street" (for goodness sake, you are 31 years old and from Africa, toughen up!!)?

So Kathryn was distracted at work yesterday.  The next little gem I received was this one:-

"A midwife was banned from the road for three years after she was caught drink-driving with a bottle of Gordon's gin, tonic water and slices of lemon in her car.
Janice Hawke, 57, was approached by a suspicious member of the public after she pulled up outside a shop to buy some alcohol last month.  Police were called and were stunned to find the bottles of gin and tonic in her car – along with a glass of neat slices of lemon."

"Neat slices of lemon" - that takes the cake.  Click on the link above if you want to see what she looks like, where she works and what the slices of lemon looked like (strange Gordon's gin  bottle in the UK).  They must be looking for news and imagine if we were stopped on Monday night drinking Hill and Dale Sauvignon Blanc on our way to Grand West out of Miss Kitty paper cups (we would have lost points for not having ice).  Oh and to put the record straight, our driver Bronwyn does not drink (you were worried hey Ellen and Gill?).

The last one is a bit risque - don't click this link Mom (or Aunty Norma) - although I could just imagine you two naughty grandmothers getting up to such tricks as well.

I am not a psychologist and do not pretend to be one (I struggle to spell the word, for goodness sake) but if (in another life, I was one) and found myself in a position to analyse my friend, even I, (whether a qualified psychologist or not) could find a distinct thread linking these "jokes".

When should I start worrying about my friend?  She has been pretty quiet on the email today.  Either catching up for yesterday's fun or perhaps I should take a trip up Kildare Road and look for any weeping men!!

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