"let your boat of life be light, packed with only
what you need - a homely home and simple pleasures, someone to love and someone to love you,
enough to eat and enough to wear
and a little more than enough to drink:
for thirst is a dangerous thing"

Monday, 25 July 2011

i'm back, as i said i would be

photo - damien schumann

It would not be that easy to get rid of me.  Gareth, Nic and I drove back to Cape Town yesterday and got back in the dark after a pretty hairy drive.  It rained all the way from Beaufort West - huge trucks on the road, spraying up water and the visibility was poor.  Both of them offered to drive but I kind of took it on as my job on the trip and was happy to drive.  While driving yesterday one of those "Things your mother said to you" kept coming into my head (I have a strange head).  After all we had shared and spoken about on the weekend, I kept smiling to myself but could not bring myself to utter these words to the boys:-

"I brought you into this world AND I will take you out of it!!".  

That could have been tempting fate and not an appropriate thing to talk about at this point in our lives.  At one time during the drive I spied Nic putting on his seat belt in the back seat, so things were pretty scary. 

We arrived home in the dark to a welcoming meal made by Dalene - mashed potatoes, van Vlaanderen "fall-apart-meat" and peas. "Comfort Food" of the highest standard.  Kathy who had been away for 6 weeks popped in for a hug, home to my own bed and back to work for me this morning.  Life carries on - you almost expect time to stop, even for a teeny, weeny bit - but it doesn't.

The trip away was everything I knew (and said) it would be.  We cried together, they cried on their own and we laughed together.  I had many questions to answer and they each had stories to share.  We were there for Matthew and the three of them had time to reconnect.  This was all stuff that I knew in advance and I was correct with my predictions.

What I did not even think about or imagine and what has blown me away is the support that Gareth, Nic and Matthew have received from their friends.  One does not expect boys to be able to share so freely their feelings.  Boys calling boys and chatting and not being afraid of crying.  These days they do not have to pretend to be brave and strong as they did in years before.  The messages that they have received have been truly overwhelming and having their friends share their memories of John of weekends away in Betty's Bay, being taught how to hold a cricket bat or throw a "skip pass", holidays in Plettenberg Bay or just sitting around listening to new "old" music have rekindled their memories of the wonderful qualities their father possessed.

This is not going to be easy for them.  They are organising a memorial for their dad on Sunday.  A difficult task but I am sure they will pull it off.  I was right before, wasn't I?


  1. You are mother, wife, friend and and and and....everything extraordinaire!!! xxxxxx

  2. "A life which ends with death, is a life not well spent"
    I trust that your gorgeous boys will keep John alive forever.
    Sending so much love to you dear Jen, and your family during this testing time. Meg xxx