forget the bucket list

i am bit over the expression.  it has a morbid feel to it (not that i am adverse to being morbid).  actually i have been more morbid than usual of late but nicely morbid (that is possible).  i have been thinking a lot of a close friend, vaughan who died over 10 years ago.  vaughan was a "bucket list" person - an ideas man who made lists, who would come around for dinner with his diary and fill in details of when, where and with whom we were going to do things.  and we did things.  he would hear that joe cocker was coming to cape town in 6 months time, diarise when the booking opened and be first in the queue to get tickets (before internet and on-line bookings).  we had wonderful weekends at his holiday home in betty's bay, he booked a spontaneous trip to plettenberg bay for a weekend just to check up on the house we were renting in july, he loved music - all kinds of music and had a rule that if you started playing a song you could not cut into it or change tracks because you did not like it, you had to listen to it to the end and then decide (i still feel guilty whenever i do not obey that rule - which is pretty often), if it was a warm summer evening you would take your supper to the beach or the forest or even keurboom park.  he was not afraid to get in the car and drive.  he would drive to stellenbosch in the morning to pick strawberries to have with ice-cream for lunch.  he was not afraid of anything.  he must have ticked off many things on his bucket list and he would have had an extremely long one but very tragically his list came to an end far too soon.  i should write a whole post on vaughan (maybe even a book) - he taught me so much but not enough as i am extremely bad at getting around to doing things - good intentions and ideas but not too great on the follow through (and i switch tracks when i don't feel like listening to a certain song!)

so on thinking about bucket lists and my personal list i realised that so much of it is wishy-washy stuff that everybody would like to do - visit all 5 continents (or is it 7?), go to india, learn mandarin chinese, skydive, run a marathon, parasail in acapulco.  all a lot of pie-in-the-sky things that you would maybe be able to do if lots of extra cash fell into your sweaty little palm but if it did not why even dream or bother?  having a list can motivate you and seeing it in print is important but let's try and keep it real.  after my lovely day on saturday i realised that putting the stellenbosch food market at the top of your list and then ticking it off is extremely satisfying.  so what about a list of attainable things you feel the need to do?  sadly i would still have to divide my list into sections, which unfortunately once again fall into "almost free", "some cost" and "will cost" (lists in no particular order)

almost free:

• watch more sunrises (so many sunsets in your life and not enough sunrises)
• take more photographs
• sleep under the stars
• more swims in the ocean
• walk in the rain and stamp in puddles
• take time to visit albertina at her home (followed by lunch at mozoli's)
• take more day trips into the country for lazy lunches
• organise photographs, albums and frames
• sit in my garden in the early morning with a cup of tea (even now that the mornings are darker and colder)
• re-discover and organise my old music collection
• declutter 
• write some poetry
• have an afternoon watching soppy and sad movies with old brown sherry, a fire and girl friends
• laugh more
• smile at strangers 
• read more (or more importantly finish one book before starting another)
• tell the people who i love that i love them whenever i can
• give more and expect less 

some cost:-

• walk the catwalk from muizenberg to kalk bay for breakfast
• the builders warehouse food market in retreat on a wednesday night
• a day trip to riebeeck kasteel to visit their local nursery
• treat myself to a new purse
• visit little orchard nursery in constantia
• visit wine farms in stellenbosch that i have not been to before
• high tea at the mount nelson
• take the double decker cape town tour bus around cape town and learn more about our city
• do the bo-kaap walking tour 
• take painting lessons 
• learn to make pasta
• join a bookclub 
• try and see 2 new movies a month 

will cost:-

• straight back to new york to picnic on bagels in central park
• treat michael to golf at augusta and st andrews
• take another roadtrip (to anywhere) with the em, bb and bs 
• take my 3 boys on a holiday to ireland, then new york and to see new england in the fall
• take amy and kelly to london to see buckingham palace (and try and get amy an introduction to prince harry!!)
• tour the uk, visit family and friends and see the lake district in good weather
• tour scotland
• visit cheryl in new zealand 
• a girls holiday in france or italy - walking, cooking, eating, wine and fun

enjoy the holiday tomorrow, put your X in the right box and let me know what is on your list.