"let your boat of life be light, packed with only
what you need - a homely home and simple pleasures, someone to love and someone to love you,
enough to eat and enough to wear
and a little more than enough to drink:
for thirst is a dangerous thing"

Monday, 23 May 2011

double agent kotze

my aching nerves.  i am getting old.  gone are the days when one of your children answered you back and you could tell them to stop being cheeky, give them a klap and send them to their bedroom.  i am a bit concerned about my situation.  gareth (as only gareth can) quite politely (as gareth often isn't) told me off (*a**ed me out) last night.  (that is if you can be politely, *a**ed out).  "mom, it is time you changed your facebook profile - i promise you nicky won't mind and whilst it is a nice picture of you and nicky both the girlfriends you are with in the picture are not our girlfriends anymore - and your status stating you are not "in a relationship" is a lie. you are married and you are now a kotze. change it please, it is the right thing to do."  so what did i do when i got home, went straight to the computer and changed my status and profile picture (obedient me).  not an easy job to change your facebook settings - i did need some online help from gareth and janetta.

i have legally changed my name.  the home affairs department was the easy part of the process. i got the new id within weeks and went off to the bank and filled in numerous forms at enquiries.  then they wanted FICA documentation - got the id (tick) but no utility bill in the new name so they had to be provided with an affidavit. another visit to enquiries only to the told that there was a charge of R150 for each new card (i have a couple).  i walked out in a huff after telling them that when my card expires in 2012 they can alter my details.

having a double identity has it's advantages.  the girls in the office are amused when i announce "hello this is jenny kotze calling from attorneys coulters van gend & kotze"  sudden respect and helpfulness from previously rude and unhelpful bank call centres.  however, sometimes when dealing with irate clients and i am asked "who am i speaking to?", i reply "this is jenny rosslee, pa to mike kotze" (stupid a-hole - not michael hey the irate client).  

i have also realised that the signature on the back of your bank card means nothing.  i sign kotze on the rosslee cards and sometimes have to be rosslee on formal work documents.  i am also now not allowed to witness any wills or estate documentation when michael is the executor.  all a bit confusing.

last wednesday i received a call from the DA asking whether "mrs kotze" would be voting.  i realised that home affairs were pretty much on the ball as i thought that i would need to vote as a rosslee.  on arriving at the polling station with both identity documents i asked them to check whether jennifer rosslee was registered.  she was not.  not that i would have been brave enough to try and vote a second time (besides which the counsellor for our ward was lucky to receive one vote from me, nevermind 2 - pp) (pompous p*#ck).

you can come out of your room now gareth.  mummy loves you.


  1. Luckily I never need to send my polite son to his bedroom - he's there semi-permanently anyway :)

  2. Sweetheart, your blog's fab. And so are all your names. However, should you at some point in your life feel like going anywhere near the Dankerode Hiking Trail (or any other place in Germany, Austria or Switzerland), please make sure you've changed your new surname's 1st vowel to "a" before departure.