i have 2 really blonde stories for you...

here is the first one. you are going to be absolutely shocked that someone with my all round good common sense and intelligence could be so completely, utterley and totally STUPID.

in may last year whenever i logged on to 2oceansvibe, one of my favourite sites containing general cape town skinner and up-to-date goings on of the rich and famous, i kept having a problem where the screen was red and the fonts were all spread out.  being a good mate (not really (actually not at all) but i feel that i know him pretty well (i know where he goes and what he drinks, you know) of the editor, i thought i would advise him of my problem and thereby perhaps assist him in keeping his "followers" happy.  if i was getting frustrated i could only imagine what his other readers were feeling while sitting with their ipads on the camps bay strip sipping cocktails (sorry hot chocolate, it was may).  our exchanges went something like this:-

On 21 May 2010, at 11:13 AM, JENNY wrote:

hi seth
i seem to have a problem getting into your site.  everything is red and the fonts are all strange.  a general problem or something wrong with my computer?
regards
jenny

From: Seth Rotherham - 2oceansvibe.com [mailto:editor@2oceansvibe.com] 
Sent: 21 May 2010 12:15 PM
To: JENNY
Cc: Christopher Mills; Mark Slingsby; David Ramsay
Subject: Re: RED SCREEN

Thanks Jenny.

we have had a few of these complaints and I am hoping to hear back from my hosting company / developers to see what they think it might be.
what operating system are you using?
could you please send me a screen shot?

best,

Seth Rotherham

Editor

Website: 2oceansvibe.com

Twitter: twitter.com/2oceansvibe

"Work is a sideline, Live the holiday"

Le travail est une activité secondaire, vivent les vacances..

____________________________

On 21 May 2010, at 13:13 AM, JENNY wrote

hi seth
thanks for your reply.
i am not that much of a computer fundi but attached is what my screen looks like. i use intenet explorer as my browser.

hope this is what you meant?

have a great weekend

jenny

SO what did i do?  i happened to have my camera in my bag, took it out and took a "shot" of my red screen.  very cleverly downloaded the picture and attached it to the above email.

if you look carefully you can see my reflection in the screen holding the camera.  as i sent it i thought "maybe i am being stupid", i know about print screen but screen shot was new to me.  i resisted the need to call busiest brother and confirm that what i was doing was correct.  what else could that mean?

well that night busiest brother was around for supper with the boys and i mentioned what i had done.  a stunned silence as they asked me to explain, then explain again and one by one they fell off their chairs laughing.  nic rushed straight to the computer to check whether 2oceansvibe had used me as their feature story for the next day.

all gareth could say was "thank goodness you have changed your name"

for those of you who might need this information in the future this is how to do a screen shot:-

A "screenshot" is a snapshot of what's on your computer's screen. (HELLO, exactly what i did) To create a screenshot follow these steps: The first step is to create the windows that you want to capture and leave them up on the screen. Just to the right of your keyboard, you should see three groups of keys.  The lower set of keys usually is a group of arrow keys.  Above that is usually a set of some six keys that are labeled "Insert," "Home," "Page Up," etc.  Above that should be three keys that have rather odd labels - like Pause/Break and ScrLk. One of those keys should be labeled PrtScrn/SysRq. Pressing Alt-PrintScreen (Alt-PrtScrn) places an image of the frontmost window on the clipboard. Pressing PrintScreen by itself places an image of the entire desktop on the clipboard. If you press PrtScrn/SysRq, nothing will appear to have happened.  However, your computer just took a snapshot of its screen and stored that picture on its clipboard, much as it stores information that you cut and paste. Open MS-Paint. (From Start/Run, issue the command "mspaint".) Create a new empty image, and use Edit/Paste to bring in the screenshot you just took. (If the screenshot is smaller than the default Paint canvas, you will end up with white areas. Start over: create a new empty image, change its dimensions to 1x1, and Paste again. The canvas will grow for the Paste, but it doesn't shrink.) Use MS-Paint to Save As, using PNG as the file format (it is superior to all the rest). you learn something everyday!! "Thank you Jenny" pleasure thank you seth rotherham for not using the story. now please never use this against me.  you may have to wait a couple of days for blonde moment 2 because i have to take a few pictures to illustrate the story properly (seriously).