but i regress.......

this book which is now a blog is now not quite a simple as i orginally thought.  you need a place to start and i have just blurted forth in the first posting - so do i now need to change the order a bit?  i am sure you will forgive me and it will make sense (eventually).

i am now heading back in time to 2002.  have you ever had a moment in your life where everything suddenly makes sense and fits into place?  when the cloud suddenly lifts and you feel amazingly free and happy.

i have always considered myself to be a happy and positive person.  even after my divorce 2 years previously it was because i knew that i made made the right decision everything was relatively easy.  once i was over the hurdle of breaking the news to the 3 boys i knew that everything would be ok.  i had the support of family and friends and although financially it was hard, everything was ok.

why was this day different?  i had taken gareth off at around 7 to the subway from where he walked up to campus.  the routine was the same - took rusty for a quick walk to the top of albion road and back before the traffic, woke the other two up and started making sandwiches.  once nic and matt said goodbye and left for school i could start getting ready for work.  i had the house to myself, collected empty coffee cups from the bedrooms and while in gareth's room i switched on the cd player.  they had been listening to the dave matthews band the night before - my favourite song was track 9.  i never know the title - crush or crazy - i like to call it "the crazy song" - anyway i played it once, then twice, then louder and louder.  i must have played it more than 10 times and each time it played i felt better and better - not that i ever felt bad, you understand?  it was as though all the strain of the last 10 or so years was gone, the difficulty in trying to get out of a destructive marriage, trying to put on a happily married face, trying to keep your children happy - it all just lifted.

in that hour i just knew how much i had to be thankful for, how i loved my little, shabby cottage in rondebosch and that my children were just great.

and i was late for work