"let your boat of life be light, packed with only
what you need - a homely home and simple pleasures, someone to love and someone to love you,
enough to eat and enough to wear
and a little more than enough to drink:
for thirst is a dangerous thing"

Friday, 29 June 2012

fireside tales continued

On Sunday night the girls were around the fire.  The guys had gone off to play darts or snooker or table tennis and we were keeping warm at the fire.  I tried to follow the tread back as to how we got to this topic and then realised that it started with the rather gross subject of upchucking (puking or chundering).  Caroline has some wonderful stories to tell and Hayley innocently asked "has anyone here ever had a stomach pump?".  Dalene gave me "the look" which led to this story.  Now, I warn you, you are going to have to use your imagination a bit.  You are also going to probably see a rather horrible side of me, but hells bells, I am a big girl now, we can't be perfect and  I like to keep this blog honest and from the heart.  So here goes.  Remember you have to use your imagination a bit....

It was a cold winters night in 1964.  

(maybe not this cold but it was Rosebank in Cape Town and I am
almost sure it was in winter)

Jennifer Joan (aka me) was about 5 (and a half, if it was winter) and Dalene Louise was a cute and chubby 3 year old.  My mother used to dump us in the bath with lots of bubbles to get us out of her hair while she tidied the kitchen (and finished her wine).  We had eaten our spaghetti bolognaise and it was now time to bath.

Jennifer and Dalene in the bath
(use your imagination, the ages and bubbles are correct
and NO, I did not decant my mother's wine into the soap bottle!!)

Jennifer and Dalene in the bath
(no, the bath is too small, Jennifer never had curls and Dalene was chubbier)

Dalene Louise in the bath
(pretty damn close, except our bathroom was '60's)
with taps like these
Dalene and Jennifer - this is probably the closest
(except Jennifer looks far too sweet and kind
and Dalene was chubbier)

So the two little sisters were playing happily in the bath.  We had a twin tub washing machine in the bathroom
Remember what they looked like?
(and how they used to dance around the room when the spindrier was on?)

With the twin tub came a hose.  The hose was always rolled up next to the bath.  Tonight the clever 5 and a half year old decided to teach her little sister how to play broken telephone and whisper messages to each other through the pipe.  

Suddenly an idea popped into Jennifer's head (she showed potential for ideas from a young age).  Why not fill the hose with soapy hot water while chubby little sister was not looking?  It worked like a charm.  Then as the chubby little sister was preparing to send her words of love to her beloved and beautiful older sister the beloved one moved the pipe from her ear to her mouth and blew as hard as her 5 and a half year old body could blow.
Dalene  (a bit like this but no hat, indoors and much chubbier)
Concentrate readers!!

What happened next was something that I can never forget.  As fast as the hot soapy bubbles were flushed down the chubby 3 year old's gullet, the semi digested spaghetti bolognaise and soapy hot water were projected across the length of the bath and all over me, the tiles, the taps and what was not over me ended up in the bath water.  It was horrible, really horrible. 

(a bit like this but chubbier and human and indoors 
and the chunder was full of bubbly spaghetti and there was lots and lots of it.  
Chubby 3 year olds eat lots of spaghetti!!)

(but should be older and the spaghetti in smaller pieces and much more sauce and bubbles
and the hands were definitely not in the mouth)

I did not know what to do.  I had to get out of the bath but I had to remove the chunder from my head.  What would the clever child decide to do?  She screamed for her mother and while screaming the smell hit her nostrils and she too proceeded to deposit her spaghetti into the bath.

Well I have never heard Caroline laugh so loud.  I know she enjoys horror movies and gross stories but I think she also realised that she was perhaps better off without that older sister she has always wanted so much.

This then led to more conversations and discussions about why there is always carrot in chunder even if you have not had carrots for weeks and then about stuff that siblings do to each other.  We heard how Lucie had (accidentally) slammed Aimee's finger in a door and nearly removed the top joint of her finger and of how Gareth and Nic used to swing Matthew in his "Jolly Jumper" and see who could get him closest to the ceiling without touching.

Siblings are the people we practice on, the people who teach us about fairness and cooperation and kindness and caring
- quite often the hard way. 
Pamela Dugdale

Were you kind and caring to your siblings?

Oh, sidetracked again -  "Yes", answered Dalene.  "I have had my stomach pumped".

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