"let your boat of life be light, packed with only
what you need - a homely home and simple pleasures, someone to love and someone to love you,
enough to eat and enough to wear
and a little more than enough to drink:
for thirst is a dangerous thing"

Wednesday, 6 June 2012

dysfunctional me....

sorry i have been quiet
no real reason
and sorry too for this form of writing for this post
but i quite enjoy writing like this for a change and
letting my thoughts ramble
(like they always do)
and thinking about where the best place to start a new line is, this is pretty important and needs quite a bit of thought because you don't want your words rambling on for too long so that your readers cannot take a breath
when it is soooo easy to press the enter button
every couple
of words
and you can make you point 
stand out
more clearly
sorry now i am apologising for being childish
and i am probably upsetting gareth and janet for
using lower case letters again
and no full stops 
but it is amazing how quickly you can get your thoughts
down when you don't have to bother about capitals
(well i can anyway)
i have also been a bit down on ideas of what to write about 
for the first time since starting this blog
(can it be writer's block?)
i hope it is writer's block
(oh my word, maybe it is.  maybe i am a writer?)
"stop apologizing, jennifer"
this last week has been one of those weeks which has had a bit 
of everything
good times with my boys all together
i love watching them together
three big guys on a couch, watching rugby
they are so gentle with each other
and matthew will play with gareth's hair
and nic will stroke matthew's back
and then pluck a few hairs off his neck
(which will lead to a quick thump on the upper arm)
it is very special for me to see
(the gentleness not the thump)
i also had some special times alone with matthew
before he left on monday morning
i had lots of laughs with my sister
(who could start a business making chocolate vodka)
(it makes her giggle)
and dalene's giggle makes everyone happy
i so enjoy the blessing of being an aunt to her two great girls
who are growing up so fast
i had a couple of private laughs 
(and secrets) with amy
and loved watching kelly's emotional ride and excitement at making the hockey side
(so happy and chuffed with herself for being chosen 
but, at the same time, so sad for her friends that did not make the team)
she is a special child
(a bit too sensitive)
i told her to revel at being the best of the bunch
(it did not ever happen to me)
we had a lovely dinner with my mom and the boys on saturday night
(she too had not seen them together for ages)
and hayley and kathy were there too
we had steak, eggs and chips
(gareth will say "egg")
and we watched rugby (but not very seriously)
 and drank some wine (more seriously)
(and, not forgetting the chocolate vodka)

kathy is leaving tomorrow
 for a 6 week trip to america
(lucky fish)
but she does work very hard
(she says)
and i think of our friendship and how we have only 
swapped a couple of emails this week
not many
(she is busy)
(i am supposed to be)
but i have not seen her
and now i feel like i need to see her
(because 6 weeks is a very long time)
and she is off tomorrow
but we are having lunch before she leaves tomorrow
and i have been thinking
that it is strange that
while kathy is away our friendship changes a bit
and i find i email her for stupid things,
things that i would never even tell her about 
when she is around the corner
silly stuff
and how i have the need to make contact more often
when she is away
i remember how many years ago 
(when there were no cell phones)
and our boys were very young
we used to have these mammoth telephone conversations
one time gareth got collected by a friend's mom to go to a birthday party
and when he got dropped off 2 hours later
we were still on the phone
(same call)
we don't use the telephone anymore
bbm's and emails are the order of the day
and we don't have to see or speak to each other every day either
or even every week
because i know that she is close by
but now she is off
(lucky fish)
and i will miss her
but while she is away i can shop on amazon.com
and have stuff delivered to her hotel room
or her flat in williamstown
(very fancy)
amy is looking at catalogues for dresses 
for her grade 10 dance
and i will google williamstown and tell her which coffee shop
has almond croissants
(like she will not know)
and she will definitely bring me back a brugels bagel
and some honey and walnut creamed cheese
so i am off now
to have supper with my mommy and rob
and caroline is joining us
and i can hear about her travels
(and maybe drink some wine)
so cheers for now
this has been great for me to write these thoughts down
it is helped me put my finger on what i am feeling now
and i am feeling so mellow
because through it all i realise just how lucky i am
to have my family and my friends
and all of you to share things with
the good and the bad
and thank goodness there is always so much more good 
than bad
and saying goodbye can be sad
but it won't be for long
and there will  be reunions and dinners
and lovely nonsense emails in between
the writer's block is over
(don't think i ever had it)
have a great evening

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