the mag 114

I have heard that drowning, in the sea, is one of the best ways to die

I am not sure who has confirmed this, or how they know this stuff

but this is what they say

Apparently it is in the way your body bobs up and down in the ocean and you

get so tired but you still keep floating up to the surface 

for another breath

Eventually, you become so tired that taking breaths becomes difficult and waves keep washing over you, hypnotising you

You breathe sea water into your lungs

and they fill up until there is no room for air

only sea water 

So you pass out 

and sink 

to the bottom of the ocean

I dragged my empty fish tank to the bottom of the garden

and filled it with water

I removed my clothes, stepped carefully into the tank, lay back, held my breath

and my nose and submerged my body in the icy water

This fish tank was now my coffin 

but there was not much space to bob up and down, 

in a coffin

and holding my breath was difficult in such a confined space

because as I kept rising to the surface it became impossible to keep my mouth closed, so I opened it

and gasped new, cold air into my lungs

and my head felt light

and it felt wonderful to breathe again

I remembered those games I used to play with friends, when we were young,

to see who could hold their breath underwater,

for the longest time

Your lungs got stronger and eventually you all got pretty good at

staying under water, for the longest time

This game I was playing today, alone
was not as much fun as those I played, with friends
in those carefree days of long, hot summers
with brown bodies and sun bleached hair

What was I trying to do anyway?

It is pretty cold being wet and alone at the bottom of the garden

so I make my way back to the house,

make a big mug of hot, sweet tea and take a long, hot shower

I try hard to stop myself thinking about death and dying

It is time to stop wondering what it will feel like when death happens

and remember how good it feels when the new

fresh air flows into your lungs

and you feel light headed and the colours of the trees are beautiful

and the sky is blue

How can there ever be a best way to die?

Weekly inspirational prompt from The Mag

Thanks Tess