to matthew ... on his 25th birthday

Having my youngest son turn 25 today

makes me feel older than the fact

that my oldest son will be 30 in December

(I will probably feel different in December)

25 years ago today Matthew was born

I have never hid the fact from him that he was a shock

and a surprise

His brother Nicholas was only 16 months old

when he arrived

and suddenly we had 3 little boys under

the age of 4 and half

There was cause for concern when I found out that

I was pregnant

I had been struggling with breastfeeding a disinterested Nic and

took very strong hormone tablets to dry up my milk

only to discover that I was already more than 3 months pregnant

(Nic knew something I did not)

There were serious discussions with different doctors,

letters to drug companies about the side effects of the drug,

we were given percentages and a list of what "defects" could

occur and throughout the pregnancy there were worries

about the decision we had made not to terminate the pregnancy

The cutest, spiky haired, long and skinny (strange

for a Rosslee) but 100% perfect baby arrived

and we never looked back

The balance in the family was suddenly right

- it is difficult to compare 3 -

They were all so different but so alike

He grew up at Nic's pace

They were told the same stories

and once I was reprimanded by his pre-school teacher who

asked why Matthew knew all the tunes to the nursery rhymes

but never knew the words

and I suddenly became aware that I had never

taught him nursery rhymes

He grew up with He-Man and Turtles 

and rugby balls and yard cricket

and always having to be the one to "fetch" the ball

He could tick-tack on a skateboard before he could

walk and he walked when he was

9 months old

(he needed to be able to stand up to his bigger brothers or

he just got trampled on)

Now when I look at my handsome 25 year old son

I am filled with pride

He is strong and determined, has the

most amazing discipline and doing

his best to make his dreams come true

but not without sacrifices

He is surrounded by testosterone, men

and gyms and grass

but has managed to stay softly spoken, gentle and kind

but firm and focused at the same time

He is arriving home today

I cannot wait to hold him and hug him and be thankful for him

and wish him all good things for the years ahead

that his dreams come true,

and that his heart heals

and that Griquas beat WP tomorrow afternoon

It is hard to imagine what our lives would have been like without him

and with hindsight how a decision in your past could have

changed so many peoples lives...

and made it so much poorer

Happy Birthday Matthew

your Mom and brothers and family love you so much

and your Dad is so very proud