dysfunctional me....

sorry i have been quiet

no real reason

and sorry too for this form of writing for this post

but i quite enjoy writing like this for a change and

letting my thoughts ramble

(like they always do)

and thinking about where the best place to start a new line is, this is pretty important and needs quite a bit of thought because you don't want your words rambling on for too long so that your readers cannot take a breath

when it is soooo easy to press the enter button

every couple

of words

and you can make you point 

stand out

more clearly

sorry now i am apologising for being childish

and i am probably upsetting gareth and janet for

using lower case letters again

and no full stops 

but it is amazing how quickly you can get your thoughts

down when you don't have to bother about capitals

(well i can anyway)

i have also been a bit down on ideas of what to write about 

for the first time since starting this blog

(can it be writer's block?)

i hope it is writer's block

(oh my word, maybe it is.  maybe i am a writer?)

sorry

"stop apologizing, jennifer"

this last week has been one of those weeks which has had a bit 

of everything

good times with my boys all together

i love watching them together

three big guys on a couch, watching rugby

they are so gentle with each other

and matthew will play with gareth's hair

and nic will stroke matthew's back

and then pluck a few hairs off his neck

(which will lead to a quick thump on the upper arm)

it is very special for me to see

(the gentleness not the thump)

i also had some special times alone with matthew

before he left on monday morning

:(

i had lots of laughs with my sister

(who could start a business making chocolate vodka)

(it makes her giggle)

and dalene's giggle makes everyone happy

i so enjoy the blessing of being an aunt to her two great girls

who are growing up so fast

i had a couple of private laughs 

(and secrets) with amy

and loved watching kelly's emotional ride and excitement at making the hockey side

(so happy and chuffed with herself for being chosen 

but, at the same time, so sad for her friends that did not make the team)

she is a special child

(a bit too sensitive)

i told her to revel at being the best of the bunch

(it did not ever happen to me)

we had a lovely dinner with my mom and the boys on saturday night

(she too had not seen them together for ages)

and hayley and kathy were there too

we had steak, eggs and chips

(gareth will say "egg")

and we watched rugby (but not very seriously)

 and drank some wine (more seriously)

(and, not forgetting the chocolate vodka)

kathy is leaving tomorrow

(again)

 for a 6 week trip to america

(lucky fish)

but she does work very hard

(she says)

and i think of our friendship and how we have only 

swapped a couple of emails this week

not many

(she is busy)

(i am supposed to be)

but i have not seen her

and now i feel like i need to see her

(because 6 weeks is a very long time)

and she is off tomorrow

but we are having lunch before she leaves tomorrow

and i have been thinking

that it is strange that

while kathy is away our friendship changes a bit

and i find i email her for stupid things,

things that i would never even tell her about 

when she is around the corner

silly stuff

and how i have the need to make contact more often

when she is away

i remember how many years ago 

(when there were no cell phones)

and our boys were very young

we used to have these mammoth telephone conversations

one time gareth got collected by a friend's mom to go to a birthday party

and when he got dropped off 2 hours later

we were still on the phone

(same call)

we don't use the telephone anymore

bbm's and emails are the order of the day

and we don't have to see or speak to each other every day either

or even every week

because i know that she is close by

but now she is off

(lucky fish)

and i will miss her

but while she is away i can shop on amazon.com

and have stuff delivered to her hotel room

or her flat in williamstown

(very fancy)

amy is looking at catalogues for dresses 

for her grade 10 dance

and i will google williamstown and tell her which coffee shop

has almond croissants

(like she will not know)

and she will definitely bring me back a brugels bagel

and some honey and walnut creamed cheese

so i am off now

to have supper with my mommy and rob

and caroline is joining us

and i can hear about her travels

(and maybe drink some wine)

so cheers for now

this has been great for me to write these thoughts down

it is helped me put my finger on what i am feeling now

and i am feeling so mellow

because through it all i realise just how lucky i am

to have my family and my friends

and all of you to share things with

the good and the bad

and thank goodness there is always so much more good 

than bad

and saying goodbye can be sad

but it won't be for long

and there will  be reunions and dinners

and lovely nonsense emails in between

the writer's block is over

(don't think i ever had it)

have a great evening