a story from the treasure trove, a confession and a 200 word challenge

i told you i had found "the sacred box" and now i have to re-tell this story.  this is one of the girls stories that nic and blaine were subjected to on saturday.  if i give you a paragraph of background i can then try very hard to get the tale across in 200 words.  it is going to be difficult but perhaps it is the kind of story that needs to be watered down (a lot).  why i told this story is because it is one of those weird co-incidences that only happen once in awhile.

june 2005 - nicky and i flew ryan air (20 pound tickets bristol to dublin return).  we were joining a 5 day paddywagon tour (ring of kerry, galway, blarney castle, cliffs of moher). the tour was great although the weather grey.  our last night in dublin we headed straight to temple bar to see what it was all about.  omw what a buzz.  took us a while to find the pub we thought was best and eventually settled on "the oliver st john gogarty".  great live music, full but looked like you would be able to organise a drink without too much trouble. 

lets first go back in time and start at the very beginning.  i am probably 19 years old, at college and doing promotions to earn extra money.  i do not have my own car so my mother still does lifts.   this particular promotion was at the woodstock holiday inn (pretty new and smart in those days).  the promotion was for kronebrau 1308 (anyone remember this beer?).

i only remember it because i loved the t-shirt that was given to me and i wore it for years afterwards.  the london-irish rugby team were touring south africa.  they invaded the pub and the 3 other promotional girls and i had quite a lot of giggly fun getting chatted up by these large men who spoke funny.  confession time - i ended up getting a goodbye kiss (actually quite serious kiss) in the car park and 2 tickets (with his hotel room number on the back) to the match at newlands from a player called colm.  my mother arrived to fetch me and was not impressed with the fact that i was in a carpark with a strange man and when i flashed the tickets at her i really got a mouthful.  "these irish guys are all married and are just out for what they can get.  don't you dare think you are going to the rugby at newlands -  finished and klaar - and i don't want to hear another word about it".  i probably sulked for a bit but that was that and normally would have put up more of a fight but i knew i was a bit out of my league (with mr tucker and my mother).  i always remembered his name though. colm (o double d name).

but back to the future - not too much into the future but 2005.  june 2005 temple bar, dublin

200 words challenge:-

we order 2 guinnesses.  nicky not a fan switches to whiskey.  i drink both. we spy a table. tourists leave. 3 woman in the group have not enjoyed their guinness either. we sit and recycle drinks. jenny now has 2 500ml glasses of guinness. along come madible of dentists*.  very friendly. they tell me my drink(s) are flat and buy me another**. nicky ***  is introduced to jamesons "finest whiskey in the world". chit-chat. pub closes. allowed to finish drinks on pavement. they are from galway. we swopped tales of galway (we had been there). conversation turns to rugby. the only person that i know who comes from ireland, probably still lives there and played rugby is "the car park kid called colm"****. why i mentioned his name, i do not know (i talk too much).  turns out he is seamus the dentist's golfing partner and great friend. i am shown his name and number on his cell phone. seamus then calls him, chats limerick language and passes the phone to me. besides not understanding most of what he said he did ask me why i took the tickets if i was not going to use them?*****.

(194 words)

ok i cheated

* a group of dentists (on a conference)?

** (i look longingly as the waitress removes my 1 litre freebie)

***(not a big drinker)

****(if you can call getting chatted up for about an hour knowing someone)

*****(and said her remembered my eyes) - (not a word about the kiss - how rude)

quite a coinsequence (as matthew would say) hey?
now for your lesson for today
did you know:-

Guinness stout is made from water, barley, hops, and brewer's yeast and is treated with isinglass finings made from fishes' air bladders, although Guinness has claimed that this finings material is unlikely to remain in the finished product this means it is generally deemed unsuitable for those following a vegetarian or vegan diet.

 

what a good idea - anyone going to ireland soon?

storm in a teacup?

i apologise if this headline has been used before but i could not resist it.  isn't this just the cutest 5 month old ever?   i read the article in sunday's newspaper after michael's mom asked me some questions.  the dear lady had read it a couple of times and it was clearly bothering her.  eventually we had to remove the paper from the coffee table as she kept picking it up and re-reading it in disbelief and horror.  "how can parents do such a thing?" she asked over and over again.

my initial feeling was not really of horror.  i remember being amused when my boys hated barbie dolls but were happy to play for hours with their gi joes or ninja turtles.  although i did not buy them guns they instinctively knew how to make a gun out of a stick or even a doughnut.  pink and blue stereotypes also do nothing for me and i know for a fact that if i had had a little girl pink would have not featured until she was old enough to choose pink.  i am just not a pink person (dalene will confirm, she received the "i love pink" gene). i would have hated to have pink walls and stuff around me.  in fact i still prefer to see newborn babies dressed in white.  the witterick's have chosen to dress storm in red which is the colour that has no gender.  hectic.  imagine if my mother had dressed me in red?  i have serious colour issues without having been dressed in red and probably should be in therapy.

i was fine with the article until i read that the older son, jazz (who has long plaits, wears pink and has an earring) chose not to go to school anymore and was now being home schooled.  how can kathy and david think that they are doing the right thing when already their children are being labelled as "different", "girl-boys", being laughed at and are not happy at school (and that at the age of 5).  to quote the dad, david witterick "Our family practices unschooling, an offshoot of home-schooling centred on the belief that learning should be driven by a child’s curiosity. There are no report cards, no textbooks and no tests. For unschoolers, learning is about exploring and asking questions, “not something that happens by rote from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. weekdays in a building with a group of same-age people, planned, implemented and assessed by someone else”.  david also had a brother who, in his teens, started wearing ladies clothes and make-up.

kathy with kio, storm and jazz

the whole point is that the child does have a gender and that boys and girls are different.  i do not think that gender has anything to do with sexuality and personally think that kathy and david are O double D.  is there a hidden agenda?  the story was on the front pages of newspapers all over the world - the family cannot be contacted for interviews - a movie or reality show?  then you read how many people are praising their actions and it makes you think a bit more:-

“Bravo to these parents for bravely taking on the gender-biased world that labels children with stereotypes and gendered assumptions before they are even born!  All parenting is an experiment — but most people are happy to let Disney or Mattel run the lab. I hope your beautiful little family will stay strong against the conservative attack.”

after starting off as an idealistic parent myself with dreams and plans for my children i now have only one wish for them and that is that they are happy (a cliche, i know) - there are other things of course that i wish for them but being happy is top of the list.  i have friends who have children who are questioning their sexuality.  they feel the same way as i do - we will love them whatever and if they are happy within that is what matters.  a large part of being and feeling happy is the way that you are accepted by your family and friends.  we need them to know that happiness is not about being top of the class, getting that degree or fancy job; it's about connecting to yourself, connecting to others and to this world that we share.

these 3 young children are not being given the right start especially when even at their young age they are not accepted in the playground.  children can be cruel but are honest and will call things as they are.  i don't think that i could be happy without friends.  what about you?

on another note completely, i am sure that storm is boy. 

when you embarrass your children

wow quite a weekend.  had the fandamily over for supper on friday night as matthew was leaving early on saturday morning to go back to kimberley. always entertaining with everyone talking at the same time and jumping from one story to another.  matthew's training starts tomorrow for the currie cup.  it was so great to have him home for over 2 weeks.  the last time he was here for any length of time was at christmas and that was so busy.  this was 2 great weeks of full washing baskets and an empty fridge (amazing how quickly you forget how much milk a bowl of chocolate pronutro absorbs).

on saturday after watching amy playing hockey it was off to watch nic play rugby for uct against villagers.  amy and i did not stay for the 1st team game as she had studying to do (next time amy).  so does nic have studying to do.  anyway after the rugby i pick up some sushi takeaways and head to dalene to join the girls (who by the time we get there have finished 2 bottles of old brown in front of the fire).  out comes the white wine and as we get stuck into the sushi nic arrives to introduce a "new friend" to us.  lovely guy who looks a lot like bob but is blaine.  did this poor chap get initiated or what? as he walked down the passage my sister and kathy were shouting "ooooh it's bob, hello bob".  the 2 boys helped finish off the snacks as "rugby makes you very hungry".  they also proceeded to finish off the old brown to warm themselves up (4 party animals have now changed to my white wine).  nic and blaine (the bob lookalike, but not really) then became witness to some outrageous stories and girl talk.  poor blaine's eyes got bigger and bigger (remember the 4 ladies present had been together since lunch time (not me) and did not know any of the rugby scores (although the tv was on) or the who had won the tennis (although that was what they were getting together to do)).  anyway, blaine (bless him) and nic left to get back to their studies.  nic told me this morning that his words to nic were "and we thought we were being clever to sneak out and leave our fines meeting at the rugby clubhouse?".  (i was wondering why they did not know the final score of the 1st team match).  go girls!!

this story now suddenly ties in with today's discovery.  i have bought a whole lot of picture frames and have had my photographs out for weeks trying to re-organise them.  in the bottom drawer of my kist is a very sacred box.  the box that nicky deacon and i had put together and were going to make into our "2005 thelma and louise trip to the UK and ireland" scrap book.  sadly (very sadly) we never got around to doing it but i started looking through the box and found this bit of magic.  i am sure you will enjoy it too.

background.  nicky and i are in london staying with gareth in wimbledon.  after a day at the borough market and camden town we met up with gareth for drinks with cousin duncan. lovely evening with lots of laughs and charades.  ooopsy getting late.  gareth then made us run to catch the last tube home that we were practically hysterical once we got onto the tube.  he proceeded to pretend he did not know us while we posed for pictures. nicky's son andrew and nic had been in london previously with gareth. they had also posed for drunken pictures on the tube (i am talking about the pictures on the tube - not the drunken pictures on the tube).  we were trying to copy those pictures (wish i could find them as well but going to be difficult as my pictures are all on different compters and disks).

but this is the sequence:-

"gareth, do we look a bit like nic and andrew in that picture of them on the tube?"
(jenny trying to give herself a dimple (bum chin) and nicky trying to give herself a more prominent jawline)

"wait, let me fix my hair, i need some dreadlocks"

nicky and jenny singing mr jones

"gareth, do we sound like nic and andrew?"

"nic and andrew were never this badly behaved"

special times. no wonder matthew feels safer in kimberley!!

it's a week of introductions

helen gertrude kotze

 91 years old

this is michael's mother.  a lovely, gracious lady who lives in a retirement centre in diep river.  she had a fall nearly 2 years ago while in canada and it was only since her return to cape town that she has not been driving.  up until then she was pretty self-sufficient even although her short term memory was not great.  she took herself to visit her sister twice a week to read to her (aunty joyce was nearly blind and died early this year - aged 93), to church on sunday morning and then to our place for lunch.  that was about the extent of her driving and because it was all in her routine she managed ok.

well 2 years down the line the lady is physically strong and fully recovered from her fall and partial hip replacement.  however, her short term memory is rapidly declining.  the brain is such an amazing organ but you do wonder how certain information, often not useful at all, can remain in your brain forever and the important stuff that is necessary to help you function on a day-to-day basis disappears?

helen is one of the cleverest people i have ever met.  she is extremely well read, recites yeats and shakespeare, knows her bible and her basic arithmetic skills are awesome.  she, to this day adds up the numbers on the registration plates of the car in front of her.  not only adds the numbers but adds the scrabble numeric value of the letters as well - all fine for CA - 4 + 1 but when it gets to GWX i am out of it (not being a fanatic scrabble player as she was).  in fact it is a game that now irritates me immensely as not once have i ever managed to beat the grand dame.  for one her eye-sight is sharper than mine as well so i cannot even cheat and start adding before we get to the traffic lights.  it has become a habit of michael's now as well and i have told him to please stop playing when i am in the car with him.  perhaps i will start playing with him when he reaches 80 but for now,  please stop.   i much prefer "punch buggy blue" (because i am the best at it).

she has a carer every day during the week for a couple of hours.  loretta arrives in the morning, organises her breakfast, helps her bath and dress, gives her her medication and writes down details of the time that she is going down to lunch.  michael then checks on her in the evening and reminds her about her tv show 7de laan (which goes with the brandy and ginger ale and a small helping of pringles in a silver dish).  she is a creature of habit and as long as her routine is kept, she is, for the most, fine.  weekends we take over (mostly michael) and sundays she spends with us.  very predictable sundays which she enjoys, tells us the same stories over and over again, tells me how lovely my garden is over and over again, toasts me at lunch (over and over again) and tells stories about her early days in klerksdorp and about her love of trees and climbing them.  everytime she walks into our kitchen and looks at the tree in the courtyard we have the same "oh what a beautiful tree. when joyce and i were young we so loved climbing trees.  we had a tree over the road which the 4 clegg sisters would climb. we each had a branch where we would sit and read.  we had these 2 brothers who lived next door who we called "the stare, stare boys" because they could not work out how we girls could climb the tree and they could not. they would stand below and stare up at us.................."

the past few weeks have been particularly confusing for her.  we think that because winter is now here and it is getting darker earlier so she is going to bed too early and waking up too early.  whereas before loretta would usually wake her up she is now waking up much earlier...very early in fact.  we sometimes have 3 calls in the morning before we even leave home for work.  asking what day it is? time? is it sunday? 

this monday morning took the cake:-

phone rings at 5.30 in the morning

jenny answers (it is on her side of the bed)

jenny (sleepily):    hello jenny speaking

helen (urgently):   hello is that you jenny?

jenny (suddenly alert*):   yes mom, is everything alright?

helen:   oh is that you jenny?

jenny (slightly louder):  yes mom, are you ok?  

helen:   oh jenny it is you, i am very pleased now that i picked up the phone because it is you.  what do you want?

(awkward silence) 

jenny (thinkingly):   i am glad everything is ok, get back into bed mom it is cold, loretta will be there later and michael will speak to you when we get to work

helen:   ok thank you, what day is it?

jenny:   monday

helen: (obviously looking at her clock which has the day, date and time (and a light))  oh monday 23 may 5.33

jenny:  that is right (i think so).  goodbye mom

helen:  goodbye for now jenny - love to michael

michael (now kind of awake):  who were you talking to at 5.30 in the morning?  everything ok?

jenny:  your mother. she is fine.  the phone did ring, didn't it?  (now doubting myself)

michael:   i didn't hear it

*(about a month ago we had an early call from her telling us she had had a fall in the bathroom and please could be come and help her clean up all the blood.  on getting there it looked like the scene of a murder - we took her off to the ER and she was stitched up in a couple of places - so much blood because she had cut some small artery on the one spot).   she could not remember how it happened, besides the cuts on her head so had no other bumps or bruises.  when we got her back to her flat and started cleaning the bathroom she said "oh dear, what happened here.  it is an awful mess".